HELP KILL A BATTERY!!

TL;DR. Help me kill a car battery to warranty exchange for a new one.

So essentially. I have a 2023 vehicle equipped with just about every sensor, module, gadget, and gizmo you can put in a car nowadays.

The problem. My climate control module is down, the liftgate module is down, the driver and passenger modules are down, the tpms module is down, blind spot and crosstraffic sensors are down, my car key is not working... I haven't completely ruled out the body control module... (yet). I would rather replace a battery than a BCM. I've checked fuses, alternator is good, BCM is grounded, wire harness is good. The only thing left is the battery. It sits at around 12.6v (which is good), then when I turn on the car and begin to run it under load it reads at 13.1v (usual range for modern vehicles varies but i believe if i'm doing my research correctly it should be at 13.5++v). So the battery is running low (indicating that it might be dying... slowly). The warranty from Walmart is as dumb as the average American. Essentially unless the battery is unable to hold a charge or charge, they won't exchange it. They don't care if the battery runs at low voltage (they don't even do a load test) just a resting voltage test. Other components under the BCM are functioning normally however, rear windows are functional, lights, radio, wipers, alarms, etc.

Is it worth the hassle? I'd rather not spend money, but should I just go to autozone and get a Duralast? Is there a good way to kill this battery to get my warranty? If a new battery doesn't fix it, well I would suppose it's just a bad BCM. Any input on this is appreciated.

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  1. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Hook it to your nips.

  2. 5 days ago
    civil engineering stud

    Remove from car, hook it to a 12V halogen lamp all night long. After it dips under 7v it basically becomes unrecoverable.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      >After it dips under 7v it basically becomes unrecoverable.
      I've charged agm batteries that had 0 voltage and got them over 13v before. They worked just fine afterwards.

      https://i.imgur.com/Qr0ve0z.jpeg

      TL;DR. Help me kill a car battery to warranty exchange for a new one.

      So essentially. I have a 2023 vehicle equipped with just about every sensor, module, gadget, and gizmo you can put in a car nowadays.

      The problem. My climate control module is down, the liftgate module is down, the driver and passenger modules are down, the tpms module is down, blind spot and crosstraffic sensors are down, my car key is not working... I haven't completely ruled out the body control module... (yet). I would rather replace a battery than a BCM. I've checked fuses, alternator is good, BCM is grounded, wire harness is good. The only thing left is the battery. It sits at around 12.6v (which is good), then when I turn on the car and begin to run it under load it reads at 13.1v (usual range for modern vehicles varies but i believe if i'm doing my research correctly it should be at 13.5++v). So the battery is running low (indicating that it might be dying... slowly). The warranty from Walmart is as dumb as the average American. Essentially unless the battery is unable to hold a charge or charge, they won't exchange it. They don't care if the battery runs at low voltage (they don't even do a load test) just a resting voltage test. Other components under the BCM are functioning normally however, rear windows are functional, lights, radio, wipers, alarms, etc.

      Is it worth the hassle? I'd rather not spend money, but should I just go to autozone and get a Duralast? Is there a good way to kill this battery to get my warranty? If a new battery doesn't fix it, well I would suppose it's just a bad BCM. Any input on this is appreciated.

      Drain the battery down to 0v, then charge it in reverse polarity. + to - and - to +. That'll reverse the polity on the battery itself and it'll read as totally fricked on their charger.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      I tried warrantying an autozone battery that was dead and they denied it saying over discharge wasn’t covered

  3. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    just buy the battery. if it solves the problem, take your old battery back for the core refund. if it doesn't solve the problem, you can take it back and tell them its the wrong size.

  4. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Throw it in the ocean.

  5. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Battery never reads below 12.6V
    BCM is doing fricky shit.
    >Help prove it's my battery.

    Just go to Vatozone or Oreillys and have them test the battery, they'll use a load tester.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      I should say that the vehicle is not giving me any fault codes for the BCM. which is why I haven't ruled out the battery. I'm driving to one of those stores now for a battery test. I'll come back with update if threat is still alive.

    • 5 days ago
      Bepis

      This

      If your battery has enough balls to start the car, it should be plenty fine to run the electronics. That voltage is pretty low though, I would say alternator but that’s a new car. I wouldn’t be surprised if you have a loose connection somewhere, like check voltage in a few different spots such as alternator and battery vs lighter outlet in the car.

  6. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Open the vent caps, pour 2/3 of the acid into a storm drain, refill with tap water and baking soda.
    Congrats, the battery is dead and the wageslave at the counter will have no idea why.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      First sensible answer

  7. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    The battery is only used for starting or to run devices when the car is off.
    Once the engine is running the alternator is powering everything (including recharging the battery because it lost some juice running the starter motor to start your car).
    The fact that you don't understand this is depressing.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      doesn't the battery also provide constant, steady 12v power? the alternator is always increasing and decreasing rpms based on engine use so the power is always fluctuating
      the analogy i've seen is the alternator being a tap that might surge with extra water randomly, and the battery is the container that the tap is pouring into, the container has a fixed outlet that provides a steady volume and pressure

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        Alternators have regulators that control their output based on the current needed and the RPM the alternator is spinning at. They still need a correctly functioning battery to do that and will do weird things with a bad battery. That bad battery will eventually take out that regulator too so you can spend $120 on a battery now or $1k for a battery and a alternator replacement later.

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          >1k
          What the frick are you taking about? Unless you're getting a 200a+ alternator, you're not gonna pay anything more than 300$ (especially if youre trading a core).
          At most you'd spend around $500 for the combo

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            You think the labor is free? They're going to book you at least 2 hours for a alternator job. I can guarantee you OP's car is German so double the normal shop rate.

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            >Not being able to replace an alternator yourself
            Ngmi

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            OP sounds mechanically moronic so I'm assuming he would have a shop or the dealer do it. Again it comes down to the vehicle. If it's German you probably need to take the engine and troony out to change the alternator. At that point even myself as a wrencher I'll just have a shop do it.

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            on some engines they place the alternator in fantastically moronic positions. i'm glad mine sits right st the top of the engine as it should

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          >They still need a correctly functioning battery
          I was out on the trails and came across a guy with a dead battery.
          We didn't have jumper cables.
          I thought "maybe we can start his truck with my battery then pull the battery out once he was running".
          It worked.

          You can also bumpstart a vehicle with a completely dead battery and drive around just fine.
          And yes you can even bumps start an automatic (done it) but need to be going 25-30moh for even a chance.

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            That doesn't work on a lot of newer vehicles. Even my '02 will start to run like shit if you unplug the alternator or disconnect the battery when the engine is running.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        The battery definitely is important. I just replaced the battery in my Cherokee because it was 14 years old and completely toast. To the point that after jumping it to go buy the new battery, my radio would shut off whenever I let off the gas kek.

  8. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    What is this shitbox that's already got electrical gremlins?

  9. 5 days ago
    [PLEBSPOTTERS] BigC

    >13.1v at idle
    That’s not right, that’s too low

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      If it's over 12.6 it's fine.If battery at rest is 12.6 it's fine.

  10. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Well you're obviously a moronic homosexual. First off, how do you have a 2023 not under a warranty? Second, 12.6v cold indicates the battery is great, you fricking nimrod. Third, running and seeing anything below 14v, means your charging system is complete shit and/or grounds are shit, not one of my vehicles runs below 14.4v and the oldest is 70 fricking years old. 13.5v is practically dead, and won't survive any sudden load. Fourth, if you buy a battery, just go buy the best rated from whatever store you have the most of locally, so you can warranty it whenever and easily, spoiler alert, there's only 3 real manufacturers of batteries. Fifth, if it was your BCM you'd have fricking codes thrown and be able to read this with simple OBD2 shit and the only way it'd be battery/charge system related, is you'd see goddamn low voltage warnings off the sensors, at which point if it wasnt a water damaged vehicle, you'd have grand issues front to back due to low voltage because ECU's don't like low voltage.

    Holy shit you're fricking moronic. Take your shit to the dealer.

  11. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Has a 2023 vehicle
    >Things that would likely be on the MS CAN network are down
    >Thinks it's a battery
    Lol. Lmao. Enjoy your $6k repair plus tip. Anyway, to answer your question: press the gas pedal to the floor, which puts it in clear flood mode, then crank the vehicle over. Do this a few times until you hear the starter solenoid click with no attempt to start. Then key on, engine off, and turn on the brights until the car dies. AGM shit won't charge after that.

  12. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    It is not hard to change out a car battery, they are not expensive either. Also a great source of sulfuric acid and electrical power for manufacturing chlorates through electrolysis.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      What OP wants to do sounds like some sort of fraud, the warranty being a financial policy. Is easier to just repair the battery.

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