Vanlife

What do when you get a sudden urge to poop in the middle of the night?
Assuming you are not living in a $200k RV conversion with a toilet and sink installed.

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Leave car with shovel, bear spray, tp and wet wipes. Kiss your wife/gf goodbye just in case. Head like 100m away and dig a hole, explosively shit in it, clean up and bury it all. Then head back. It's shrimple as that assuming you don't get attacked by bears/mountain lions/wendigos/leshens.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >dig a hole
      Don't most vanlifegays live in parking lots?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        don't need a hole if you're in the bay area. might be different in other cities.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Poop in bag, roll down window, throw at wagies.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          sounds like you're setting yourself up for dysentary.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        go to a walgreens dumbass. also vanlife is not a thing, it's called being homeless

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          How about youtube vanlife families where the parents have a whole room for themselves and the kids sleep in coffins?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            I know exactly which video you watched and you're a gay for that.
            I do wanna violently face frick her though, Jesus, why is she so hot??

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >schizo posting without a link
            Go frick yourself.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >schizo posting without a link
            Go frick yourself.

            How about youtube vanlife families where the parents have a whole room for themselves and the kids sleep in coffins?

            Oh dear Allah forgive me, I was thinking of the wrong YouTuber. This is the video I was referring to, but I thought it was that red-haired liberal b***h who's way too pretty for her subject matter.

            Regardless, that just makes that anon an even bigger gay for watching this.
            (And I didn't originally post it to save anon's dignity)

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Corner store bag.
    Simples.

  3. 2 months ago
    p

    I can hold my poop for days if I have to. It’s one of the benefits of being a straight white heterosexual male.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Do not put hanging onto a poop on your resume.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Go eat at several Indian buffets and see if that still works?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Todd Russell, one of the two miners in the Beaconsfield mine collapse, held his poop in for TWO FRICKING WEEKS. His co-worker, Brant Webb, just let rip as required. They were confined together in a tiny space and were given regular supplies of food and water via a hole drilled from above. Imagine the smell, and imagine what came out of Russell's ass after two weeks

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        must've been compressed to hell. imagine the relief though. He probably came a gallon as it left his ass

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        The irony.
        He wanted to keep his dignity and all it got him was being remembered as the guy who held his poop for 2 weeks.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I can hold my poop for days if I have to.
      Ah yes, a fellow opiate addict. Eat once a day, poop twice a week.

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    if she can do it so can you. would someone please give her a home?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      How does she poop at night?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        holds it in 99% of the time successfully.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Her pull-up form is atrocious.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Three girls living together in a van
          Imagine the smell

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >be homeless
          >eat avocado toast
          wtf is wrong with zoomies?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Melanineal projection

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >if your countrys so fricked you become homeless you need to be le miserable all the time and spend everything you earn on booze and drugs!

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Even when I was doing weed, amph, and morphine every single day with large tolerances I never spent more than $20/day on drugs.
            People spend $20 / meal these days.
            Good thing for me my parents were rich, hooray capitalism!

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            NTA but I think he was saying if you're so poor you can't afford somewhere to live you shouldn't be worried about "trendy" breakfast options?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Actual homeless people spend $8 at McDonalds for worse breakfast. An avocado toast will cost maybe $1.25 to make (bread, avocado, butter, fuel).

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            This
            that or they get better groceries from rich liberal donations than I can afford to buy with a job

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Even half of an Organic avacado is more than that Anon. Your mom does all your grocery shopping?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Organic is a racket and beyond that you're bad at shopping.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            What's an organic avocado? How's that different from a regular avocado?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            People have started to use the term "inorganic" for regular produce. It's ridiculous.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Non GMO.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Why doesn't it say non-GMO then? An how can you be sure?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Part of the organic definition is non GMO. The other part is to only use organic approved chemicals and farming methods such as rolling out acres of plastic with slits for your seeds to grow through to kill weeds instead of using herbicides. Also with non GMO, they can dessicate grains with Roundup before harvest, but not with Organic.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            are they homeless by choice though? if they are saving on rent to have money for a downpayment, you could and probably even splurge on some nice food once in a while

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            It's cheap, easy and nutritious. Doesn't require refrigeration. You boomers have never even priced out a bag of avocados. Its cheaper than the premium versions of corn syrup and seed oils you love so much

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Do walmart really allow people to live in their parking lot?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            You could probably get away parking anywhere as long as you're not a Black person about it, or it's not extremely obvious from the outside that you're living in there.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          doing this shit in a well set up vehicle would be fun for a couple of weeks but frick doing this shit long term

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      holds it in 99% of the time successfully.

      >women would rather be homeless than date me
      many such cases

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      How long until she looks like a 20 year long meth abuser

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        probs already dead from one of those fun combo pills that contain fent, tranq, and nitazene/iso

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >hoffmeister kink
      Is she in a BMW?

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    My mom desperately wants to abandon her apartment to live in an RV once she retires from teaching in NYC. I got no idea how that would go down. She's deep in debt anyways so I don't know how she'd obtain one. She's crazy enough to just camp out in her SUV though. Should I be concerned?bi know nothing about van life shit

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Is she concerned about rape or would that be a bonus feature of vanlife?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Good question. Probably concerned but not concerned enough.

        How much debt and what kind?
        Because if this is credit card shit she should be selling her SUV, if anything.

        Hard to say. She filed bankruptcy at least 3 times in life. Definitely lots of credit card debt over the years. Her student loans finally got bailed out for being a teacher but she never really paid them anyways. She makes a decent amount nowadays at almost 90k salary but NYC is a killer on the wallet.
        I dunno how she does it but she somehow manages to make it by on constant credit card usage

        You can buy an acre of land plus a shitbox camper for the same price as moving into a decent apartment for a month

        If that's true then she'd probably do it. Let me know where to look. The rest of the family (myself included) all reside in the south now where we're originally from. I never bought land but I'm interested.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          You can buy an acre of land plus a shitbox camper for the same price as moving into a decent apartment for a month

          (You) #
          If that's true then she'd probably do it. Let me know where to look. The rest of the family (myself included) all reside in the south now where we're originally from. I never bought land but I'm interested.

          Cheapest land is in the desert. Picrel is a few miles from Elko NV. Land was even cheaper in new Mexico You do need a proper 4x4 to drive there in winter time. I think the property price was $5000 except he is poor so he financed it for 60 easy payments of $150 and some late fees or something moronic like that. I don't actually recommend living there

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Nice thanks

            Yo mama stoopid

            I agree

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            i wanna buy land just to have a smoke spot

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Nice thanks
            [...]
            I agree

            Rural desert land you can do whatever you want. My brother has dozens of dogs, cars, pickups, campers and lots of trash. You should have an old suv and a utility trailer with an IBC tote or some 55G barrels for water.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Yo mama stoopid

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      How much debt and what kind?
      Because if this is credit card shit she should be selling her SUV, if anything.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        SUVs can tow a home to affordable properties. And they also function as clothes dryers.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You can buy an acre of land plus a shitbox camper for the same price as moving into a decent apartment for a month

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    So your homeless?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >your homeless
      *yo'uar'e

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I Go squat behind the magic sage bush, 2 dogs follow me and it disappears instantly. Was wierd at first. But it works really well and normies waste tons of money on plumbing and sewage treatment which is completely unnecessary.

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's easy: I just wear these at night. Love these things like you wouldn't believe. Actual lifesaver for the vanlifer on the move.
    Don't knock it till you try it. When you can't afford a full RV conversion it's a real lifesaver. Rearz has the best absorbency for the cost.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      anon pulls millenial wook tail at the local farmer's market
      >it's okay, let's just go back to my place, it's right around the corner...
      >yeah haha it's like super liberating, I can just park it and sleep wherever I want out in nature
      >oh yeah don't worry about that smell I need to go by the walmart later to take those bags out
      >oh these? yeah it's super sick, I don't even need to drive around to find a bathroom anymore
      >it's okay! I only used them once this morning, where'd I put the wet wipes...
      >hey where ya going?

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    As a trucker:
    A. You learn to go before the stores around you close.
    B. Truck stops.

    There are usually places open until 10 or 11 and places that open at 6 or 7 so unless you have a sudden onset of the squirts it doesn’t come up.

    You just definitely push out a pebble or two at some restaurant before sacking out in a vacant lot.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You shit outside like the pioneers!

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    van life looks fun. then you start thinking about it. suddenly it becomes less fun when you realize what it takes. if you're one of the lucky 1 percent who has a nice 4x4 van, friends, skills, and some acreage to park it at when you get tired of nomading, then it's probably a very exciting lifestyle.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    (OP)
    These all seem so contrived and set up, like it's some kind of psy-op to get zoomers living out of vans.
    The girls in these videos are mid at worst and the dudes are generally attractive as well. Not to mention they all seem to wear clean, trendy clothes. It just all seems very staged.

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm glad that people are waking up to the fact that #VanLyfe is just glorified homelessness

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      worse, it's trust fund kids with huge safety nets who never have to work choosing to be homeless for fun. hence

      NTA but I think he was saying if you're so poor you can't afford somewhere to live you shouldn't be worried about "trendy" breakfast options?

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Poop chair with a bag full of kitty litter.

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    you just go in the woods and hold a tree and lean back and shit.

    I did two months out of a rented corolla and a tent with my wife, it was awesome. Once per week we either stopped at a proper camp ground or did a night or two at a bed and breakfast.

    Longterm? frick that, no. I need space to do things I enjoy, painting, fricking around on my desktop, 3d modelling cars, vr, wtv. I think a cabin or a yurt and some land is the better long term goal vs. fricking around with an RV.

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    vanlife is poor cope of being homeless or some 19-24 year old “finding herself” thru miles of wiener and open road
    most of these people end up on the streets once they get that first dab of fent or tranq and sell their car for the next hit or the cops impound it because they turned it into a methlab

    just go to Seattle or Portland and find out, or some weird desert “community”

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    i did a month of living in my gay honda around the country and never had this issue
    protip: groccery stores have the best public bathrooms

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    The meme is already over and normalgays are moving on

  19. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I spent about 6 months living out of a pickup truck while roundtripping around the USA over the last 6-7 years. I usually take a 2 week long trip once a year.
    I live completely out of the pickup.
    Ive only stayed overnight at a parking lot all of 3 times. All other times I park in a secluded area in a National Park, or I sneak into a campground around midnight, and leave at first light.
    I take my poops at the campgrounds, or if im at a park, I will go lean against a tree, and take a dump. All other times Im mobile, and simply drive to a restroom.
    I remember one time I was near Moab, woke up in the morning, had to take a huge shit, there was nothing near me, just limestone and some bushes. I climbed up into some rocks out of sight, and took a gnarly liquid dump there. felt kinda bad leaving that behind, but oh well, it was either that, or the river bank

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